things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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