My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
