would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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