you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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