so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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