My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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