I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Randomize
