All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
