now i know why i became what i already was.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
