GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
