Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
