Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Still dying that you shit outside
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
