Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
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