ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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