you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm both gender and math confused
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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