My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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