I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
