In the future we'll all be gay
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just cut my nipple shaving
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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