This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
