Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
