yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
