Swine flu is the new snow day.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
