I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
