8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
