My cat gives me a boner
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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