tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
