I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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