Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
