okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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