how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Naked. naked and bneed help.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
