Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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