He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
