I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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