this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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