dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
ugly people sure do ruin things
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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