I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
