I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
