The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I am naked and annoyed.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
