i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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