I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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