do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
