Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
