Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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