i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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