Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
