u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
