They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
