This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
