maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
