so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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